The 3rd Page
by bclovr-22
Summary: Emma of Aquinas starts a journal when things in her life start to get interesting. A strange man has promised to teach her to fight and she hopes of one day becoming the 3rd page. Please R and R! Rating is tentative and might go up.
1. Chapter 1: This is my journal

Writer's note: Haha I'm really new to this so if it stinks absolutely tell me in the reviews!!

Disclaimer: I obviously don't own any rights to the work of the wonderful Tamora Pierce because if I did I wouldn't be writing for FANfiction (no offense!)

Hello I'm Emma of Aquinas and this is my journal. I'm starting this journal mainly because of what happened yesterday. I think that things are starting to become more interesting in my life and so I should document it somehow. Also mother tells me that keeping a journal is a good lady-like thing to do. Not that I care I don't ever want to be a lady! I may be 9 but I know that sitting prim and pretty on a chair isn't what I want to do when I grow up. I want to be like the lady knights and the Queen's ladies, fighting for my country. If only I could convince mother of that.

Anyway before I tell of yesterday's events I should most likely inform the reader, whoever you are, a little about myself. I am Emma Alexandria of Aquinas, daughter of Lord Michael and Lady Willa and sister to Brendan, Kenyon, and Connor. We live smack dab in the center of bandit country, which is kinda in the middle to the north.

I guess I'm tall for my age but is anybody really tall when they're 9? I've got boring brown hair, boring brown eyes, plain facial features all except for my skin. Everywhere on my body I have freckles, it's like a freckle machine. I don't mind, I love my freckles they make me different from the average brown haired brown-eyed kid. But my mother does not. Apparently a lady is not supposed to have freckles, she is supposed to have creamy white skin that glows in the sunlight. But Lady Keladry of Mindelan is technically a lady too, she has freckles AND she's a knight. Oh well I dither.

My older brother Brendan is a scholar even though he is only 13 and is being sent to the University of Tortall when he turns 15. Kenyon is 11 and my best friend. Unfortunately he left last year to go to the palace for Page training and I miss him so much. Connor is 6 and has magic that he has no clue how to use. He is also constantly bugging me about everything. I try and deal with him but when I can't get any more I just go out and ride.

My favorite things to do are swimming, riding, archery, and probably reading. I swim everywhere and whenever I can. If my mother found out that I swim with the village boys, even though we're clothed, she'd probably have a heart attack. I have my own horse and I'm pretty much aloud to go where I want as long as I'm relatively close. I absolutely love archery. The feeling of the bow and the string, the sound the arrow makes, and the dull thud when it hits the target. I also love to read. Reading takes me to a different world where I can imagine everything, I love reading history books and acting out battles in my mind.

Of course we're all schooled by our tutor everyday. He is so terribly boring but I don't care because he let's me do what I want. Brendan is very smart and the rest of us are too but we don't like it like he does. I do like languages though. They are so interesting with the different types of words and sounds. I'm fluent in Yamani and I'm learning the language of the Bazhir. Maybe one day I could be a foreign delegate and go to far away countries because I speak their language. Hey I can hope.

Hmmm what else should I put in here. I live in Fief Aquinas, which is pretty large. The towns around us mainly specialize in wood working because there are so many forests everywhere. We have a lot of land that's never even been explored before because the woods are so thick and dangerous. I've always wanted to go explore them but I think I might be just a little too scared.

Oh my goodness that was the dinner bell! I'm so sorry I never even got around to what happened yesterday. I'll write it up after dinner.

Emma


	2. Chapter 2: Bandits

**A/N The only reason I'm writing this chapter is because of Olive Whisperer and WingedWarrior16 so thank you! Please please please review! I know I'm not a very good writer so there is plenty to review about!**

**Disclaimer- Nope I'm not Tamora Pierce**

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After Dinner

Dinner was very good tonight I will have you know. So now I'm ready to write what happened yesterday because I have a full stomach and fresh ink.

_Yesterday_

I was sitting in my room reading my Bazhir language book when I looked out my window and saw rain. I told you that I love to swim. Which means I love being wet. Which means I love the rain.

Oh my goodness that was a logic statement, my tutor will be proud.

Anyways, I absolutely love taking rain hikes. They are like regular hikes except you go on the hike fully knowing that you will be soaked to the bone by the time you are done. Most people do not like rain hikes probably because most people would become sick. I never get sick from being wet, which makes rain hikes one of my favorite rainy day pastimes.

So I gathered up an extra pair of clothes to change into after my hike and my bow just in case and left my room. My mother absolutely hates it when I take rain hikes so I make especially sure to be extra careful when I do. There is an old barn where I keep towels and combs for after my hike so when I return it'll be like I never even left.

I got to the barn and dropped my clothes off in the hay. I left the barn having absolutely no clue as to what would happen on this seemingly ordinary hike.

I started on a trail I know very well, it was a common one used by deer, humans, and horses alike. It meandered through the forest crossing a stream and going over a felled tree. I then walked a little ways to a clearing looking up at the sky.

I let the water stream over my face and body feeling each droplet hit and slide down. It's a beautiful feeling letting rain wash over you. It's like a million soft and smooth pebbles sliding down your skin. I stood there just feeling the rain touch every inch of my body for a few minutes. I shook out of my reverie and kept walking down a gentle slope that lead to a stream.

I reached the stream and jumped across landing firmly on the other side. As I was walking up the other side of the slope when I heard a noise that definitely was not rain hitting the ground. It sounded like a number of far off horses trotting towards me. I decided that no matter who they were, friend or foe, it would be better if they didn't see the Lord's daughter walking aimlessly through the woods in the rain. I ran in the opposite direction, which happened to be further into the woods.

I kept running and running trying to keep as quiet as possible letting the rain cover the sounds I made. But through it all I could still here who ever they were fast approaching behind me. I was scared, bandits weren't common in the rainy season but there were always exceptions to the normal. And even if it wasn't bandits who in the world would be trotting through the woods in a rainstorm headed deeper and deeper into the forest. As I thought this I realized that I too was headed deeper and deeper into the forest and not even paying attention as to where I was going.

I looked around me and saw nothing familiar, not even a single trail. I knew this was bad even if the people I was running from weren't bandits or thieves. I was lost deep in the forest with no clue of direction and I was probably miles from home. I made a quick decision and scurried up a tree using its knobs as hand holds. Reaching a far up branch I hugged myself against the tree thanking the gods that it had been here. On a whim I strung my bow and got out an arrow knowing that if they saw me, and they were bandits or convicts, it would be my only defense.

I sat in the tree for a few more minutes waiting, just waiting. I guess I wasn't that nervous. I was pretty sure that they would never see me as they trotted past but I was still just a little scared. As they trotted under my tree many things all happened at once. I realized that I had been right. It was a group of 6 underfed, ragged, and disgusting bandits. What I hadn't realized was that on the branch above me…. was a woodpecker.

As he started pecking my tree the last bandit in the line looked up and looked me straight in the eyes. I panicked and loosed my bow. As he gasped at seeing me my arrow hit him in the throat and I saw his eyes glass over in death.

I quickly readied my bow again and aimed at the next man in the column. Just as he looked back at his crooked companion and saw that he was dead my arrow struck him in his eye. Unlike the other bandit he made a slight screaming noise when he went down. Fortunately I was ready, my next arrow hit the third man in the column at the base of the neck where I knew all the spinal chords were bunched.

Unfortunately I'm not very good at quickly getting arrows up so by the time my next one was up the remaining three were all circled around my tree. One of them had a bow and the other two had swords.

"Dino look what we have here." said one of the men with a sword. He had yellow teeth and a face that hadn't been shaved in at least 2 weeks. The others were the same, looking like they had been on the run for some time.

"Is she worth our time Drac? We gotta keep movin," asked the other swordsman.

"Dino she just killed those three," he said with a point to the three bodies, "I didn' like em either and I'm glad we got our horses back but the minute we leave she'll go tattle on us all."

"I guess your right Drac. Bryce shoot her." he said to the bowman.

But I was way ahead of them. While they had been blathering about how to kill me I had actually been thinking about an escape route. I saw that if I jumped from my tree just to the right of the man Dino and I rolled when I hit the ground I would come to stop right next to a large staff-like tree branch.

I leaned my bow and arrows against the tree and readied my body to spring when the words came.

"Bryce shoot her." and with that I jumped. Bryce was surprisingly fast though and his arrow just grazed my shoulder. It hurt so bad but I couldn't think about it then because the ground was hurtling towards me. I rolled when I hit just like my father had taught me and I grabbed up the branch.

I swung the branch at the legs of Dino's horse with all my might. My shoulder seared and I staggered seeing black dots dance in front of me. I recovered though knowing I would die if I faltered. I saw that the horse had collapsed on top of the man but he was struggling to get free and reach his sword. With no hesitation I brought my branch up and swung it down on his skull hearing it crack under the power of the wood.

I knew he was dead so I looked up to see where the other 2 were. Just then I felt the cascade of blood flowing down my arm. I could feel how much blood I'd lost but I still looked up only to be surprised by a strange old man walking towards me. In the distance I saw the other 2 men upon the ground seemingly dead. The old man said something but I couldn't hear it as I fell to the ground out of blood loss, exhaustion, and horror at my actions.

_I killed 4 men. Killed them. Bang. Boom. Dead. They had families. They were people. And I killed them._

The last thing I remember was the feeling of the rain steadily falling one by one onto my injured body.

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Please review!!!! Sorry about the cliffhanger but I have to do my homework now! Review!


	3. Chapter 3: The Mystery Man

**A/N: Well this is chapter 3 and I'm sorry it took so long. I had 3 exams last week but now it's SUMMER!!! So I should be able to update quicker thank you to the 2 that reviewed it was very sweet of you ******** Anyways if you have any questions or comments, good or bad, please please please review!**

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March 16th, late at night.

Well I'm so sorry for the abrupt halt but my mother walked in wanting to know if I was asleep yet so naturally I had to put everything away and blow out the candle in a rush. But now I have relit the candle and I'm ready to start again on the events of yesterday going into today. I have decided to include the date so I can keep track of when things happened in my life. Any who…

_Yesterday_

I woke up slowly in the dim light of a small cabin, looking around without moving my head much I saw the mysterious old man sitting in front of the fireplace brewing something. I closed my eyes again not wanting to get up and thought about what happened. I remembered that I had a wound in my shoulder but I couldn't feel it. I concentrated on it and felt the low thump of my blood slowly healing it, I could not, however feel any pain coming from it. On the other hand my whole body was a big ache, my legs were jelly, my arms were stiff, and my back was so sore.

I decided that I would have to make myself known eventually so I opened my eyes and coughed just loud enough to get his attention.

"Yes little one," he said in response to my cough, "I've known you've been up for several minutes." He turned towards me with a steaming cup of what appeared to be tea.

"Who are you?" I asked thinking it was definitely the most important question at the moment.

He thought for several moments then said, "Who I am does not matter, who you are is the bigger question."

"Well my name is Emma but who are you and where am I?" I responded.

"Well Emma you are in the heart of the Aquinas woods and who I am once again does not matter." He handed me the mug of tea and pulled up a stool next to my bed. "I am no healer but I cleaned and wrapped your shoulder with a numbing medicine and made you that tea which should lower the pain."

I looked at the tea and smelled it, it smelled like chamomile and honey and I took a sip. It was very good and I brought it back to my lips for a large gulp before fixing my eyes once again on the mysterious man. I examined him thoroughly and saw that he looked to be from the Copper Isles with his dark skin and eyes. He was taller than average at about 5'11" with short-cropped white hair and beard. He looked to be about 60 but when I saw his muscles I felt sure that he must be younger.

He saw me looking and said, "Don't worry child I will not harm you just because I won't tell you my name! Here lets make a compromise, I will train you to fight so when something like that happens again you will win no matter what, and in return when you are finished training I will tell you who I am."

Well I had to mull this over in my head for a bit. He seemed to be very nice and if he planned to kill me then he would've done it already, also I really wanted to train and I knew the only way I would is if I did it in secret. My goal would be to go to get my shield but I knew my mother would never allow it but if I trained secretly with mystery man then maybe when I was good enough I could join the riders or be a queen's lady! I was also very intrigued by the fact that what his name is, is important enough to not tell me who he is and make a compromise that he'll eventually tell me. Judging by his build and the weapons strewn about the room he must be some kind of warrior but if he must live in secret then he must be either a traitor or have accumulated so many enemies that it wasn't safe for him to live openly.

"That sounds good." I said after much debate in my head, "When do we start?"

"That's the spirit Emma. Now I know you are the Lord of Aquinas's daughter so I'm guessing we'll have to do this in secret. We could train very early every morning or very late at night. Seeing how young you are we probably should train in the morning."

"Well yes that sounds wonderful but sir how will I know where this cabin is?"

"How about this, I can meet you every morning at the edge of the forest and accompany you to my humble abode." He said with a sweep of his hands displaying his cabin.

"That sounds good but when should I meet you? I have to be back home by the 9th bell for breakfast." and no matter how much I wanted to train I would not miss cook Dave's breakfast every day.

"Meet me across from that old abandoned barn at the 5th bell day after tomorrow. I'm not sure you'll be fit to train tomorrow after the healing you'll get when you return home."

GAH HOME, I thought, I had totally forgotten!

"My parents must be mounting a search party I've been gone so long. I really should be getting back but I can't wait to start training! I'll be the best student you've ever had." I promised.

"Ok well before I take you to the edge of the forest I must tell you one thing, don't ever mention me to anyone. Tell your parents any lie that you want to about how you got that injury just do not mention me."

"But sir what will I tell them about the bandage and the medicine?"

"I don't really care, tell them you met a kindly traveler on the road who helped you, just don't tell about me or our compromise. Got it?"

"Yes sir I promise." I had already formulated a clever lie in my head to tell my parents about my tragic meeting in the woods with 4 bandits.

"Well then lets get you back home." He stood up and gave me his hand to help me up. I stood on my wobbly legs and watched the world sway and go back into position before I followed him out the door.

I took one look outside and saw just how deep in the woods we really were. The trees were so thick you could barely see anything 5 feet in front of you. The mystery man hefted me into the saddle of a lazy looking donkey and took the lead rope and started walking into the forest.

Nothing much happened on the ride back. The mystery man gave me back my bow and arrows, which he had found in the tree. We never once talked but I didn't really mind I was too tired to have much of a conversation with anybody. After what seemed like hours the trees started thinning out and ahead I could see the start of a field. We stopped behind a tree and he helped me out of the saddle. Once again the world spun but I came back to my senses much quicker this time. He put his finger to his lips signaling that I be quiet and then motioned to me to go. I couldn't help myself I walked to him and hugged him for everything he had done for me then I quickly turned and headed out of the forest and towards my worried parents.

It wasn't very long till someone on the walls spotted me and even less time till there was a company of soldiers and my father surrounding me. My dad immediately got out of his saddle to come to me and hug me till it hurt very bad. I yelped and he drew back only to realize I was injured. Things all happened very fast after that and I'm not sure if I was fully awake for most of them. I know I was brought inside the walls and straight to the sick wing where I was fully healed and right after that was done my mother came wailing to my side crying that she thought I was lost forever. Brendan asked what happened and all I could reply was, "Bandits," before I fell into a long and deep sleep.

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_Today_

Well obviously I woke up today to find an aching but much better body and a pile of food beside my bed. This made me very happy and I immediately started shoveling as much food as possible into my mouth. The healer, Isa, upon seeing I was awake went straight to my father to tell him I was up and eating.

A few minutes after I had finished eating my mom and dad came into the room and practically ran to my side. No matter how much I gripe about my parents they really do love me dearly and I can never pay them back enough for that.

"Honey what happened?" was the first question coming from my very concerned looking dad.

"Well," I said with a slight crack in my voice, "it's a long story."

"We've got plenty of time sweetie." said my equally concerned mother.

So I told them a slightly skewed version of my encounter with bandits. Instead of 6 there were only 4 and I killed them all. Also instead of mystery man finding me after I collapsed an old woman who was traveling through the woods and just happened to hear the ruckus found me. She dropped me off by the forests edge and left saying she needed to get where she was going very quickly and to send her regrets to my parents.

I waited for their reaction with baited breath hoping they swallowed the lie.

"Oh darling that's terrible!" Exclaimed my mother in a high voice with obvious horror written all over her face. "My daughter had to _kill_4 men. Tragic." she leaned in and gave me a huge hug avoiding my shoulder.

"Emma you are not aloud to leave this castle for at least a month!" said my father who looked angry and sad for me all at the same time. He knew that I hated being inside for more than even a day so this punishment was especially terrible for me. Of course I knew that I would be able to sneak out every morning to train with mystery man but it still made me sad because I wouldn't be able to go see my friends in the village.

We talked for a little longer about my responsibility to my family and my bad behavior. My mother raved about my unlady like habits but through it all I could tell that they were both extremely proud of me that I had taken down a group of bandits all by myself.

After they were done lecturing and my mom had turned to leave my father leaned down and said, "Great job Emma you really are a warrior at heart."

He straightened and turned to leave but I was sure he could hear my whispered "Thank you" as he walked out the door.

I didn't do much today, I mainly rested and ate and went to the library and found this empty journal. I plan to document all of my training as well as my hopes and dreams. Right now I just hope that one day I'll actually be able to call myself a warrior.

Emma

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**Well what do you think???? Please review!!!! **

**BClovr-22**


	4. Chapter 4: Fight and Flight

**A/N: Ok so I've been incredibly lazy by not typing this up. I've had this scene playing in my head for the past week. I hope you like it and I know it's not very good but I'm trying my hardest! Please review it's the only way to know if I should actually keep writing this.**

**Disclaimer: Obviously I'm not Tamora Pierce and the only thing I own is the plot and my own characters :)**

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March 16th, Midday

Wow, it's hard to believe it's been a full 3 yrs since I started this journal. So much has happened it's hard to wrap my brain around. There've been good things and bad things and insignificant things in-between. In case you, the reader, didn't take the time to read the full 3 years of my journal I can probably do a quick recap of all the important events.

-I started my training with master

-I fight with my Mother about training at the convent

-We agree that she will teach me to be a lady and I get to stay home

-Kenyon came home for the summer and secretly taught me to joust

-I get my own horse and I name her Shadow

-Brendan leaves for the university

-Connor starts training with the local hedgewitch

-I have mastered 2 more languages, Scanran and Kyprish

-Mother gets sick

-Master and I intensify my training to 6 hours a day

-Mother dies

-Both my brothers come home for the funeral

I think that's about it.

I'm reading it over now and I can't believe how sad it all seems. My Mother only died 3 weeks ago and I'm already writing it down like an insignificant fact. I miss her so much despite all my griping about not wanting to be a lady. She really did love me, and she only wanted that her daughter grow up to be a respected young lady. Oh well it is all in the past now, all we have to look towards is the undecided future.

So let's see, what am I like now after 3 years. Well I'm currently 12 and very tall for my age at 5'2". Kenyon is 14 and he's an absolute giant just like Brendan who's 16 now. I still have my wonderful freckles all over my body and I also still have my boring brown hair and eyes. I'm thin but extremely muscled, that's what 6 hours of intense training everyday does to you. I started having to wear a breast band last year and I hate it, most of the time during training it's easier just to wrap my chest so that's what I do. Many women say that in a few years I might be beautiful if I wear face paint to cover my freckles but honestly I don't care.

I still wish to go to the palace to become a knight like Kenyon but I'm not sure if I can. I'm 2 years too old even though I'm probably better than everyone there. My Master says that I have a natural talent for fighting, with my hands and with weapons. Oh yes I forgot to say that Master still has not told me who he is, even though I'm pretty sure he must be a shang warrior.

You might want to know a bit about my training so I'll give it to you in a nutshell. I've learned hand to hand combat, knife fighting, sword fighting, staff fighting, archery, battle tactics, survival skills, acrobatics, and I've learned so many agility and strength training exercises I don't have enough paper to list them all. Master is an extremely good teacher and he says that I'm a good student, but I'm not so sure.

All I can really say is that if it came to a fight I could probably defeat 10 men with no weapons. No one knows about my training but I'd be stupid if I thought that nobody has noticed my toned body or my many hours of disappearing to train.

I'm not really sure what's going to happen now in my life, my father is in a deep depression, my mother is dead, and all my brothers have plans for their lives, so what am I supposed to do? I guess I could keep training with master then join the riders when I'm old enough, or I could go to court when I'm sixteen and join the Queen's ladies but I want to do something now! I don't want to wait around like a lazy bum until my destiny comes to me, I want to go out and find my future and have some adventures while I'm at it.

That is why I have decided to confront my father today about my future. I plan to tell him my wishes and try and talk some sense into him. I'm not sure how that'll work but if he won't let me go to the palace to become a knight then I plan to run away and stay with master until I come up with a better plan.

I'm going to lunch now and after I will go to my father's rooms and talk things out. Wish me luck.

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March 16th Late Night

Wow well that didn't go exactly as planned.

I'll start at the beginning for you. I came out of my room and started walking towards the kitchen but before I'd even gone a couple paces my father walked around the corner and called to me.

"Emma come here I need to talk to you about something."

"Yes father," I replied and turned around to walk with him.

After my mom had died my dad's appearance had slowly been deteriorating. First he stopped shaving, then he stopped wearing clean clothes, then he stopped sleeping, then he stopped eating. I was very worried for my father; half the reason I was going to talk to him was because of my concern for him.

I looked up at him expectantly but he just gazed ahead obviously waiting to talk till we got to his room. I was a little nervous because the reason I had wanted to go to talk to him was so that the conversation would be on my terms not his, but now since he had gotten to me first this meant that he would rule the conversation.

We got to his rooms and he motioned to a chair, "Please Emma take a seat, we have a lot to talk about today."

"Yes we do father," I replied taking a seat in the plain chair, "I was actually on my way to find you so that we could talk about a number of things."

"Were you really? Well I'm glad I found you first. Listen Emma now that your mother is," he stopped and wiped away a tear trickling down his face, "gone you need to continue your tutoring in the art of being a lady. That is why I am sending you to the convent the day after tomorrow."

"What?!" I said standing up. "Father surely you do not think that being a lady is what I want to do with my life?"

"Well what else do you propose that you do? Go off to be a knight!" he said it like a joke but when he saw my serious expression he turned grim. "Is that what you plan to do Emma? Go off and get yourself killed when you should be at home minding a baby?"

"See that's what's wrong with this world! You assume that I should be having babies when I'm 18 and be married to some nice rich lord who makes me sit around all day acting like a proper lady!"

"That is exactly what I assume and it is exactly what you should be doing!"

"No Father, it's not. That's what mother did and I wish never to be anything like that woman! She was weak and she never did anything with her life, I want to help people and do good in this world. Mother never could've done that she just sat at home minding your babies while men actually got to do things"

"How dare you say such things about your mother?" he asked with a near purple face. He was so angry and I could see that but I couldn't stop myself from continuing.

"Easily. She was a shadow of a real woman and I hope never to end up like her." As soon as I said I thought, how could I say something like that I loved my mother, but I said it anyway and it made me feel sick.

"Really?! Well then in that case I will gladly send you to the palace to be hacked up like dog meat! You must leave tonight and I hope with all my heart you never return." He turned his back on me and there was a tense silence while he wrote a quick note to the training master explaining for my untimely appearance at the palace.

He thrust the note at me without looking and I rushed out of the room without a backward glance. I was so angry, sad, happy, excited, and scared all at once. I had unconsciously gone back to my room and was packing while I thought over the events that had just unfolded. I had been so terribly mean to my father, cruel even, all to get what I wanted. What kind of person does that? But then again I was getting what I wanted, I was going to the palace to become a knight just like the Lioness and the Protector of the Small! Plus if I hadn't spoken my mind then the day after tomorrow I would be headed off to the convent. But still no matter how I justified my actions I couldn't get over what a witch with a capital B I had been. **(That's one of my favorite things to say:D****)**

I finished packing and went to saddle up Shadow. I took short cuts and hid in nooks and crannies when people came by. I didn't want anyone to know what I had done. I wasn't sure why but I didn't want anyone in all of Aquinas to even remember that I existed. I took Shadow out to the edge of the forest and looked back one final time at my home. What I saw made me sad but also joyous all at the same time. I was, and still am, all confused with my emotions towards that castle. Maybe in a few years I'll finally understand it all, but until then I just have to keep moving forward.

Shadow and I walked the trail to my master's house in silence. When we got there I told Shadow to stay and I walked inside.

"Ah Emma what brings you here at this hour?" said my master.

He still looked exactly the same from when I first saw him. He hadn't aged a bit; in fact he seemed to have gotten younger as he trained with me. I loved him like I could never love my father, he was compassionate yet still firm, and he loved me like his own daughter. I would miss him the most, not only his excellent teaching but also his jokes and stories as we worked so hard in all conditions. He taught me practically everything I knew about the world and now here I was having to leave him and everything else behind.

With these thoughts and all the others from today I started crying. It had been the first time I cried in a long while. I hadn't even cried at my mother's funeral and yet here I was on the floor sobbing my eyes out.

"Emma what's the matter? Oh hush now everything's going to be ok. Don't cry just tell me what happened and we can work it all out." He kept shushing me and rocking me back and forth on the floor until I got to a point where I could talk again.

"Master I'm just so confused. I'm happy because I'm going to the palace to become a knight." I paused while he smiled at me and gave me one of his huge bear hugs. "But I'm sad because I'm leaving. I'm also so mad at myself because the reason I get to go is because I was cruel to my father and told him I never wanted to be like my mother."

"Emma that's horrible!" he said.

"I know I know but he told me that I was going to the convent the day after tomorrow and I just got so angry! I couldn't contain myself and then I said all of these hateful things and then he said that he hoped I was dog meat or something like that then he wrote a note to the training master and I left."

"Wow, sounds like a lot has happened since our morning work out. Well I'll give you some advice, don't dwell on what has happened. Look to the future so that when it happens again you can make things right. Always live in the present, and that means you need to get ready to leave for the palace."

"Master I've already packed. I have everything waiting outside for me, I just came to say goodbye to my master and ask you one question."

"Yes what is it?"

"What's your name?"

"The Shang Wolf."

"Seriously?! Master that's amazing!" I realized then that he was still holding me and we both got up and faced each other.

"Yes I'm serious. Why would I lie to you? Now Emma before you go I would like to give you some thing to help you on your journey." He turned and reached into his chest of treasures, as I like to call it. He pulled out a common looking scabbard and a small leather bag.

"Now Emma this may look like an ordinary sword to the common eye," he then pulled the sword out of the scabbard and the metal gleamed in the afternoon sunlight, "but it is made with the finest steal in the world and crafted by the best in the universe." I closely examined it and saw just how sharp and strong the steal was. I thought it was very clever to hide such a beautiful sword in such a lowly case. It wouldn't draw attention on the road as I made my way towards Corus.

"Oh master it's beautiful! I think I even have a name for it already. I will call it Beleza the word for beauty in Bahzir. Thank you so much I will take care of it forever and ever." I beamed at my new sword so happy to have something of such quality and value. I hooked the scabbard on my waist and sheathed the sword in one fluid movement.

"Well I'm happy you like it. I was saving it for the day you finally left me, which is why I'm giving you this." He handed me the little bag and I opened it to find a single wolf tooth on an old worn leather thong. "Wear this and you will always remember me. I have taught you absolutely everything I know and I can't wait to see what you do with your life. It was an honor teaching such an apt and wonderful student."

"And it was an honor being your student. You are a marvelous teacher and I will miss you so much. I will come back and visit when I can and I will always remember everything you have taught me." I gave him one last goodbye hug and I turned to leave but he stopped me.

"Emma aren't you forgetting something?" He smiled and handed me a bag of food.

"Oh yes of course! I wouldn't have gotten very far without that." I smiled at him and in just a few more minutes I was trotting in the woods going away from everything I had ever known.

I stopped late at night to get food and write this all up. I want to be in Corus in 2 days and that means I have to ride as fast as I can and for as long as I can. So now it's time for me to go get ready to ride and I will write again when I reach the palace.

Emma

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**After reading this through like a million kajillion times I've decided I hate this chapter. Please tell me what you think because I think it's absolutely horrible. Please please please review!!!!**


	5. Chapter 5: The Journey

After a long hiatus I have returned to this story. I hope you enjoy it!

Most places and people belong to the wonderous Mrs. Pierce.

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March 19th , Night

I made it.

I'm currently camped outside the gates to Corus eating my dinner and writing down my journey to the capital. Let's go back 3 days…

I fled my home of 12 years with a thousand emotions and a blessing from the Shang Wolf, my former master. I had hoped to reach the capital in 2 days flat, but I had seriously misjudged the distance. I also had not factored in the bone chilling breezes that were still coming down from the north, one of the last reminders of winter.

Shadow fared well for the first day, but when we woke up after a full day of riding she was reluctant to keep going at such a breakneck pace. I slowed down and stopped for more breaks because I couldn't risk Shadow casting a shoe or worse, getting sick.

The journey allowed me much time to think on my actions, and reflect on how I could have dealt better with my father. There was a deep feeling of guilt in my heart for the terrible things I had said about my mother. It was like a constant gnawing animal that wanted to be released. However awful I felt I couldn't shake the knowledge that no matter how bad the things I said were they were the truth. I finally felt like I had gotten to the core of my desire to DO something. To be active and not destined for a future of dullness.

This revelation shocked me. My desire to be a knight was not only because of my wants but also fear of becoming like my mother. Don't get me wrong, I loved her, but I could never imagine being her. Perhaps you should know more of my mother to get a better understanding.

My mother, Lady Willa of Wexford, had a wonderful childhood. She was the only daughter of a wealthy lord in the south. She was a prodigious rider. She had horse magic, although that fact was hidden from all but her closest family. She wanted to do something that would keep her near horses for the rest of her life. Back then the riders hadn't been invented yet, and her only option would be to marry a lord with numerous stables.

Willa was forced to attend the convent and then to go to court to obtain a noble husband. Unfortunately the Lord of Wexford died of a heart attack and it was discovered he was deeply in debt. My mother seduced my father and married him so that she could maintain her noble status, even though the king confiscated her lands. My mother never truly loved my father, although she grew to respect him. My father on the other hand was always deeply in love with her, which made her death a thousand times worse.

All in all I don't think my mother ever made a decision with her own happiness in mind. I could never even think of doing such a thing. I would willingly sacrifice my life for my country, but it would be hard to sacrifice everything I love about this world for the approval of other people you don't even know or care about.

That is why I would hate to have the same fate, that is why I'm running away from home, and that is why I must become a knight.

I thought about other things too, such as my master. I was still stunned that he was a Shang, although I should've guessed right away. I keep trying to remember the stories about him. I know I've heard his name mentioned in numerous books.

Time passed slowly these last few days. I encountered few on the road, and when I did I tried my best to avoid them. Shadow is a fine beast and I wouldn't run the risk of getting her stolen, let alone having people rob me. Although I highly doubt any common highwaymen could rob me.

I ate the food my master gave me too quickly; once again I didn't expect the extra day and a half of travel. I was forced to hunt, and even though my master had taught me how I still found it vulgar and absolutely revolting. The idea of killing anything for my trivial needs was appalling. To think that men do that for fun!

To keep myself occupied I read a book I had brought along about the subtle differences in sounds in the Yamani language. I was now fluent in 5 languages, common, Yamani, Scanran, Kyprish, and the Bazhir tongue. I desired to advance my knowledge even further by inventing a language of my own. Maybe one day it could be used as a code, or maybe just as a nice way to communicate with my friends and no one else. But that thought functions under the presumption that I will have friends, which is unlikely.

This saddened me. I finally realized in full that I was 2 years behind the other boys AND that I was a girl. How is that going to work? I'll have to start working with 10 year olds on basic staff work! That prospect was not promising.

Eventually the hours passed into days and I arrived here at the capital, full of anxiety for tomorrow and excitement because I'm going to see Kenyon! The last time I saw him it was as if he'd aged 10 years. I was afraid at first that he'd treat me differently, like a child. But I shouldn't have worried. He appeared physically different but he was still the fun older brother I'd always loved. He respected me and he could tell that I'd been training.

"_Emma… what have you gotten yourself into? Did I do the wrong thing by teaching you to joust? I hope I haven't put unwomanly ideas into your head." He said it with a wink to show that he didn't actually disapprove._

"_Actually brother I've changed more than you can realize. Would you care to hear about it?"_

"_Only if it won't get me in trouble if I tell someone else."_

"_Well then I better hold my tongue. Although I will tell you this, I plan to talk to father soon and arrange a more permanent visit to the palace the next time I see you."_

"_Don't get cocky Emma. I'm completely in agreement that you have the necessary skills and strength for life in that certain profession, what I'm worried about is father. I think he may have another plan in mind."_

I was too distracted to catch the full meaning of that warning but if I'd been more aware I probably could've saved myself a whole lot of grief and guilt.

And so now the story is caught back up to the present. I'm currently nestled in the woods chewing on my last piece of bread. Tomorrow will be one of the most exciting and challenging days in my life. I'll get to visit Corus for the first time ever, see my brother again, and hopefully convince the training master that I'm worthy of his time.

If he rejects me then I'm not sure what I will do. I could run away and live in the wild, but I think I'm too accustomed to civilized life to do something that drastic. More realistically I could take the money my master has given me and find a place in the city to stay. I could perhaps find a job and wait the 4 years till I could join the riders.

All this thought is making me doubt my worthiness! I have trained for 3 straight years with a Shang master and am wise beyond my years. I HAVE to get in. How could the training master refuse me?

I need to get some sleep. I will write tomorrow night and tell the outcome of all this madness.

Emma

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Please R&R! I hope to update soon, and thanks for all the reviews so far.


	6. Chapter 6: First Day

This one took me foreverrrr. I'm sure there are still plenty of mistakes but whatever.

Most of this is Tamora Pierce's work :)

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March 20th, Late at Night

My goodness what a day it has been. So much has transpired I'm not even sure I have enough paper to write it all out. I'll try my best though.

The day started like any other, with early morning exercises. I quickly packed up my belongings and was through the gates when they first opened. I had originally planned to go through the city before it got crowded but I don't think there's a time of day when it's NOT crowded. I felt very strange as I gazed at the hundreds of people all around me. Some were buying necessities, others were clearly tourists, and the rest were covertly picking the pockets of countless people taken unawares.

I had already taken the necessary precautions and put all my valuables in one saddlebag, which I positioned directly in front of my person. I didn't want to get cocky though, I was perfectly aware that even the smartest and strongest warrior could get their pocket filched by a small hand or even a double team of thieves.

I continued to ride through the city, observing the tumultuous crowd. At one point I caught a fleeting glance of a tall handsome boy staring straight at me. We locked eyes for just a second, and if I'm not mistaken he winked at me! Winked! I did a double take, and by the time I looked back the boy was gone.

I threw these thoughts out of my mind; I didn't have enough time to pay attention to mysterious handsome young men. I passed into the temple district and rode by the Great Mother Goddess's temple. I stopped and paid my respects, praying my hardest for as much luck as I could get.

I continued into the upper ring of the city where nobles and wealthy merchants own their townhouses. The architecture and opulence of the houses was quite startling after riding through the lower city. It was then that I first laid eyes on the royal palace. If I had to use one word to describe it I would say gargantuan. Room after room. Turret after turret. It seemed to me as if it went on forever.

If I were perhaps more aware of my surroundings I would've entered the palace through a back door or a servants entrance. However, I was unaware of such things so I rode straight up to the main gate. It was guarded by at least fifteen burly men who couldn't help but stare at me as I approached.

"Hello there sir. Would you be so kind as to direct me towards the page's wing?" I said.

"What would a young peasant girl like you want to do in the pages wing?" He said, laughing with the other guards.

"Well I'm here to train of course. My name is Lady Emma Alexandria of Aquinas and you better let me in."

"What're you going to do? Hit me with a rolling pin?" This brought more laughter from the men around him. I tried to control my temper.

Through clenched teeth I said, "Sir I am losing my patience. If you would care to do your job as a royal guard, please send a message to the training master requesting his presence and that of sir Kenyon of Aquinas."

"Fine fine keep your britches on. Although I'm not sure Lord Paidrag will like it when he comes and only sees a peasant girl on a stolen horse with a sword as old as my gramps."

I gave them all my best scowl and resigned myself to wait.

After about a half hour of waiting I saw in the distance a tall and distinguished man striding towards me. Close behind him was a dirty but handsome young man who's face lit up at the sight of me. Kenyon ran towards me with arms outstretched. I jumped off Shadow and hurried to meet him. We embraced and he held me at arms length saying, "You sure do look different when you're not wearing a dress!"

I laughed and turned to look at the awestruck faces of the guards. I savored every bit of my victory and then turned to face Lord Paidrag of HaMinch.

"When the boy who got me said there was someone waiting for me at the gate, this is most certainly not what I expected."

I was unsure of how to respond to this. After a short awkward pause Kenyon took charge and introduced me to the training master.

"It's very nice to meet you Lady Emma. If you would care to follow me I will take you to the page's wing so we can stable your horse and put your belongings somewhere." He turned and quickly walked away, heading towards the palace. Kenyon and I scrambled to follow him.

"It's so great to see you Emma. A little unexpected but that's not a bad thing!" Kenyon smiled down at me as we passed through various courtyards of the palace.

"It's great to see you too Kenyon, but can you save the interrogation for later? I'm a bit frazzled right now."

"Well I would never want to make you frazzled. We'll talk tonight. Until then, I can't wait for you to meet my friends." I smiled at his enthusiasm but was unconvinced that his friends would be as excited about meeting me as he thought they would be.

Lord Paidrag led us behind the palace to a separate wing off the main building. I could see out into the training yard where there were 40 or so boys training with various weapons. As we approached more and more heads turned to our direction. A group of older pages smiled and waved at Kenyon.

HaMinch raised his hand to silence the mutters and whispers. "Boys, this is Lady Emma. She is our newest recruit. It is my hope that you will treat her like any other page, with respect and dignity. You are the future law enforcers and I would expect nothing less than your best at all times. We have some business to discuss but I will see you all at dinner." He gave me a look that clearly said 'follow me' and then turned and walked away. I could already tell that Lord Paidrag waited for no man and accepted no excuses. I gave Kenyon my biggest smile and ran to follow.

My heart was fluttering in my chest. Lord Paidrag had basically already accepted me as a page! I was in. It lifted such a weight off my shoulders that I felt like I could fly. I practically skipped behind the training master as we headed toward his office.

Once we got there he motioned to a chair, "Please sit. We have some matters to discuss." I made myself as comfortable as possible in the high backed wooden chair.

"Sir this is the note from my father giving permission for me to be here. I hope it is adequate proof of his wishes." I handed over the note that my father had written 4 days before during our argument.

"Thank you," he read it over and fixed me with a stare that could turn bones to jelly. "It is certainly adequate proof Emma. Your father makes his wishes very clear. He hopes that I will work you to the bone and then send you off to fight in every front line of every war till you are pushing up daisies. If I can speak frankly with you…?" I nodded, "It seems to me that knight training wasn't your father's first choice when it came to your future." He said it more like a question than a statement.

I shrugged. Under no condition was I going to tell him just how bad my relations with my father are.

"Well it wasn't his first choice, but we came to an agreement in the end."

Lord Paidrag raised his eyebrows but was smart enough to say no more on the subject. "Now Emma, I regret to inform you that because of recent events we've had to take a more serious approach to incoming female pages. Lady Keladry is an exemplary knight, however in the last 3 years we have had 2 girls come to the palace with the hopes of becoming a knight. Both failed. It was due in part to physical and mental stress.

"Therefore, it was the executive decision of the king and his advisors to give each female page a series of tests when they first arrive. Just to prove they are here for the… right reasons. If you pass these tests then you shall be treated as any other page and continue training. If you fail you will be sent home."

I shuddered at the thought of failing these tests. What if I was sent home? I couldn't face my father! I would have to live with my master and wait four whole years to join the riders.

I was getting ahead of myself though. I've trained for too long and hard to be sent back now. Plus how hard could they be? I can hold my own in a fight against a Shang warrior, albeit an old one. I can run for miles on end through the pouring rain. I'm fluent in five languages. There's nothing stopping me from passing. At least that's what I keep telling myself. I squared my shoulders and held my chin high, not wanting to show even a hint of intimidation.

"I will be happy to prove my worth through these tests. I do have one question though: I know it is already March, and the page exams are fast approaching. If I show my merit can I take the test with the other first year pages? That way I will only be one year behind instead of two. I know it is much to ask but I have already trained for three years, and I've been tutored all my life."

Lord Paidrag looked thoughtful, "We shall see Lady Emma. You are essentially asking me to let you skip a whole year of training while all the other boys had to work. This all depends. For now though I will summon our housekeeper Freya. She will take you to your room and outfit you for the following days. If you pass the tests you will be given a complete wardrobe. I will also remind you that you may not have another male in your room with the door closed. Unless it is your brother, whenever you are in a room with other boys I expect the door to be open. Dinner is served at the sixth bell, and it's better to be early than late. The tests start tomorrow so if I were you I'd get a full nights sleep." He turned his attention back to his papers.

I got up and waited outside his door for Freya.

I didn't have to wait very long though, within five minutes a woman was bustling down the corridor straight towards me. She was petite, thin, and looked severely over-worked. She was also Scanran and still had an accent. Even though she was physically small I could tell that her attitude and natural demeanor made her seem larger than life.

"Ahh so you are the new girl they have brought ere'. You hope to be the Knight Keladry yes? You have long way to go, but you are already better than those two before you. Come, follow me." I was shocked into silence. Servants had never spoken to me like that before. It was a strange feeling but I didn't necessarily mind it. It was… refreshing.

We turned left onto a long hall with many rooms and Freya walked to a door almost all the way to the end. "This will be your room for now. If you pass I will be back with more clothes."

"Thank you," I said in Scanran, "Your help is much appreciated."

This time I left her stunned and walked into my room. The room itself was relatively nice, although the things in it seemed to have been rejected over the years. No one had been in to dust the furniture or wash the windows in quite some time. I didn't mind though, anything was better than sleeping in the dirt. The room had a small side door that led into a room. It's little more than a closet that's used for washing and changing.

I set my belongings down and started to unpack. It was another tactic to reassure myself that I wouldn't fail the tests. I had brought very little with me and in ten minutes all my worldly belongings were in a locked chest and the key was in my pocket. Just then a servant arrived with my bath and I devoted the next hour to cleaning every square inch of my body. With pruned fingers and toes I got out of the bath and dressed quickly in some of the clothes Freya had brought during my time in the 'wash closet'. I bound my chest like always and put on the slightly too large clothing. It was clean though and it smelled like soap; so for a moment I stood there, delighted to be clean and warm, and soaked in the happiness. Then there was a knock at my door, and all returned to normal.

"Emma? Are you in there?"

I stepped out of the room and was surprised to see Kenyon with his whole entourage.

"Good because we really got to get moving. HaMinch hates it when we're late." He turned to go and I gave him a look. By the time I was five Kenyon knew my looks. I usually didn't have to communicate with much else. He got my 'one eyebrow raised, expectantly waiting' look and turned to his friends. "Boys this is Emma. Emma we don't have time now but I'll introduce you all at dinner." He walked away, I shrugged, and the rest followed laughing amongst themselves. I had a feeling they were laughing at me but I didn't care enough to ask.

We reached the dining hall and got our food as fast as possible. Most of the other boys were already in their seats, waiting.

I sat next to Kenyon at a large table and waited with everyone else. After just a few seconds the bells tolled six times. When it was done Lord Paidrag got up, said a short blessing to Mithros and sat back down. After he took his first bite the boys immediately started eating voraciously.

I ate just like all the other boys. My elbows were on the table, I alternated usage of my fork for my hand, and I think I even got some food on my shirt. I rejoiced in not being watched by my mother and father, as they made sure I was eating like a perfect little lady.

Kenyon turned to me and started laughing, "Whoa whoa whoa. Take it easy there. If you eat that fast you'll swallow your tongue."

I slowed down my page and took a look around the table. All the other boys were talking and laughing with each other, and I stopped for a moment and observed the conversations. Kenyon saw me staring and probably realized in his haste to shovel food into his mouth that he'd forgotten to introduce me.

"Emma I'd like to take this time to introduce my friends. Let's start with Keenan of Melbourne." He gestured to a short dark haired boy down the table. "Keenan is one of the best riders I've ever seen, but beware he also plays pranks like it's an art form.

"Over there we've got Powell of Volant," he was medium height with sandy hair and startling blue eyes. "If you ever get in a pinch with your math work, this is the guy to go to." His voice lowered and he whispered to me, "Although he could definitely use even your help in a fight."

The boys chuckled and Powell turned red, shaking his head because he knew it was true.

"To my left is Kareem of the Rolling Thunder tribe. He's quite deadly in a fight and can do the most amazing tricks on a horse. If this knight thing doesn't work out, there's certainly a future in the circus." Kareem had short tightly curled black hair, with a dashing profile. He had the tanned lithe body of a Bazhir and was just a pinch shorter than Kenyon. While I was listening to the conversations I had discovered he was quiet, although not necessarily shy.

"Across from you is McClain of Hothcrest. He's a mage, and quite a good one if I do say so myself. He's also a pretty good wrestler, if you couldn't tell." I could tell. He looked like a curly blonde bear. His biceps were bulging and his thighs looked like tree trunks. To imagine that this giant was a mage startled me, but it's a reminder that just about anyone can have magic.

"Next to McClain is Seamus of Therrinsfold. He's got a great sense of humor and can shoot an arrow through a ring fifty yards away. Sometimes we just call him Longshot." The boy Seamus was all smiles and made me feel very welcome. He was tall with auburn hair and beautiful hazel eyes.

"To your right is Nolan of Traders Cove, and he's the only boy here who seems to best me in swordsmanship every time." Nolan laughed good-naturedly and smiled. He was tall and moved with the grace of a leopard. His Black hair, gray eyes, and stunning good looks made me sure that Nolan was already quite the ladies man.

"And last but not least, right here in the living flesh is the nephew of your idol, the Protector of the Small." My eyes bulged and I stared with an open mouth at the boy who was related to the Lady Knight. "Emma you do know it's rude to stare."

"Oh my apologies. I'm just such a huge fan of your Aunt's. Your name is?" He was a tall boy, younger looking than the rest and he resembled his aunt. He had sandy hair and a dusting of freckles that went along with some nice hazel eyes.

"It's Tavis, Tavis of Mindelan. I'm sure Aunt Kel would be pleased to met you sometime, especially if you pass the tests."

This brought my mind back to the reality of what would be happening tomorrow.

"I have a question," I said. "What's the deal with the two other girls who got kicked out? Are the tests really that hard?"

The boys laughed and Powell said, "Don't even worry about it. Those girls were even worse than me in a fight. Never even held a bow before!"

"Why in the world would they want to become knights then?" I asked truly puzzled.

"Well, it's just a theory," said Keenan, "But some think that the girls were here to catch husbands. Come to train with all the future knights and catch a husband before we went on the market."

"Of course it's just a theory, but why else would inexperienced girls come to train at the palace with no intention of working hard?" said Nolan.

"Is that what people think about me?" I asked quietly.

"No! Of course not," said Seamus vehemently. "Kenyon's told us all about you and we would never think such a thing. Some of the other boys I cannot vouch for, however I'm sure you'll show em' tomorrow." He smiled and winked at me and I couldn't help but laugh and nod my head.

That was very encouraging. To think that Kenyon had told them "all about me" when he didn't even know half of the story. It was wonderful to know my brother had so much faith in me. I turned to Kenyon and gave him my 'thanks a bundle' look and turned back to my neglected food.

Conversation continued until everyone was done. We waited for HaMinch to dismiss us, and when he did we all headed towards the door. It turns out that Kenyon's room is only two doors down from mine and together we headed towards his room. "Fellas we got some family business to talk over, but I'll be out in a few minutes." The rest of the guys got their books and class work and headed towards the library.

Kenyon and I walked into his room and he hugged me again. "I knew you'd make it here someday." He let go and sat on his bed. I chose a chair nearby and sat down.

"Kenyon I have a confession, I've done something awful. I shouldn't even be here right now. I should be at the convent like mom wanted me to."

"Don't say that! She wanted you to be happy, and if Father let you come then he must be ok with it." He said it and looked to me for confirmation. I just shook my head.

"I told him I didn't want to be like Mom. That she was weak and that he was foolish for not seeing it. I said awful things, hateful things. He said that he hoped I'd die so I'd never have to see him again. How did I do that to my own Father?" I started crying and Kenyon pulled me onto the bed next to him and lay my head on his shoulder.

"Shhhh. I'm sure he didn't mean it. You were just angry. You didn't actually mean those things. It'll be all right. You'll train and we'll become the best knights in the kingdom. Then he'll have to take you back. Don't worry." Kenyon's such an optimist. I wish I'm more like him, and can see the bright future in every dark situation. I stopped crying.

"Look at me, crying like a big baby. Thanks so much Kenyon, for everything. You're the best."

"Well you are my sister. Now go get some sleep, I think we're going on a run tomorrow so rest up." I said goodnight, wiped away the tears, and hurried to my room before anyone could see me in such a state.

I collapsed on my bed and have taken the last hour to write this down. I'm putting out the candle now and will write again tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Emma of Aquinas

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PLEASE REVIEW.

It'd be much appreciated.

SilverGoldsun- Hahaha I know what you mean ;) It'll happen, no worries.


	7. Chapter 7: Eda Bell

**Disclaimer: I obviously don't own any of the material that belongs to the realm of Tortall**

**A/N: Sorry about my lateness... I'm delving into the world of APs and it's hard to escape and find time to update... This chapter is most certainly not as good as it could be, but at least I posted it! It's a bit choppy... if you have any suggestions on how to fix that do tell! Sorry about the millions of grammar errors... try and overlook them and if you see any truly atrocious ones please let me know.**

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March 21st mid-afternoon

I'm taking the fleeting moments between morning activities and lunch to write down what happened this morning. It was a wonderful morning to say the least, but I don't want to get ahead of myself.

I woke up before dawn and did some easy exercises to loosen up my muscles. I stretched out and then went to clean up before breakfast. I came back from the washroom and bound my chest flat. I strapped my ankle knives into place and pulled my breeches up over my loincloth. I got a soft white shirt out and put a simple green tunic over it. I pulled some boots over the bottoms of my breeches and tied the laces. I struggled with my frizzy hair and managed to tug it into a tight braid down my head (like a French braid). I realize that hair is the first thing boys grab for in a fight, so I wove in a spiked leather thong at the tail end of my plait.

I got my sword out and did some practice dances to eat away the time that I would've spent anxiously waiting. I steadily picked up pace until my sword was a blur in the air. Half way through my second pattern at a short pause in my swinging the bell rang and I realized that I was so concentrated I had missed the first bell. I smiled and sheathed my sword. I knew from Kenyon that the main thing to avoid as a green page was showing off. I figured if I brought my sword today it would only end badly, so I locked it back up and dropped the key in my pocket.

I stepped out my door and was met with a bucket of cold water. The boys ran away before I could grab them and make them pay for their grievous mistake. No one messes with an Aquinas.

I hurried to change my clothes and cautiously opened my door. No one was there, although written on my door in chalk was, "GO AWAY! You're no better than the others!" I shook my head at their ignorance and smudged out the writing. I ran to the mess hall and prayed to Mithros for luck.

Apparently the Gods were temporarily in my favor; I arrived just in the knick of time. I got myself a tray and rushed over to Kenyon's table where someone had saved me a seat. Lord Padraig said a short blessing and after he took his first bite Kenyon turned to me with an exasperated look. "I thought you weren't even coming! What if you had been late, or worse… wait a second, why's your hair all wet?"

"Some of the pages took it upon themselves to give me a bath when I walked out my door this morning."

"How kind of them," he replied sarcastically.

"Tell me about it." I looked at my food and felt like I wanted to puke. The jitters I'd had all night came back like a stampede and turned my stomach upside-down. "I don't think I'm having breakfast today," I said a little too loudly.

"Don't be ridiculous," said a voice down the table. It was the Protector's nephew, Tavis. "My aunt always says, 'Those who do not eat before battle are eaten by battle' It's an old Yamani proverb and it's the truth."

Another boy piped in, "If you puke it really is no big deal. We all have before battle, after a hard run, or your first tilting match. I know I have." It was the giant McClain. The idea of him puking before battle because of nerves was ridiculous, and the thought made me laugh.

"Ok I guess I'll eat a little." I admitted defeat and took a bite of muffin.

By the end of breakfast I was much more relaxed, but as soon as Lord Paidrag stood the butterflies returned. I felt like all I wanted to do was turn tail and run home, but I gritted my teeth and stayed where I was. I just told myself over and over 'you can do this'.

"Today we will run the curtain wall." There was a collective groan from the pages. "Because of that insolence you must run it twice. You must never doubt your commander! However, whoever finishes first will be relieved of their punishment duty on Sunday." That brought a smile to a few faces, but the majority still seemed utterly bummed.

I was excited; it was my first test and a chance to prove myself to those nasty boys. I'm a natural runner, with long legs and the lungs of an accomplished swimmer. I hoped that this curtain wall would prove to be no problem.

We walked out of the mess hall and down corridors till we reached a narrow staircase that led straight up. At the top I gasped. The view was stunning. You can see the rivers, the city, the countryside, the palace, and the vast royal forest. I had been distracted by the view and so I had missed the command to commence running. Boys bumped into me from every direction, including one well-placed elbow that drove straight in-between the muscle in my upper arm. I jolted into motion, trying to shake off the pain, and dodged around other pages until I was running even with Kenyon. I looked out in front us and realized just how long the curtain wall was. It encompasses the entirety of the front of the palace and is at least a mile long.

I evened my breathing and settled myself for a lengthy run.

Since there was nothing else to do I reflected on my character, what made me, me? I'm determined, strong-minded, impatient, a little bit arrogant. Are these traits that make friends? No, I thought, answering my own question. But I'm more than that, I love laughing and clowning around with friends, not that I have many. I guess I'm a little lonely, but I like to do things on my own. I hate being dependent on others. I realized that this is one of my crucial faults. My determination to do things by myself had led me to countless injuries as a child. I have no problem helping others, but when it comes to others helping me I can't stand it. Is it because I'm too proud? Does pride make people not want to be friends with me? Is that why?

As I had these deep thoughts I looked up to find that, unknowingly, we had already turned around at the end of the wall. I discovered that I had run my way to the front of the pack. I turned to see my companions, who were clearly the best runners of the bunch. With me was Kareem (the quiet Bahzir), Nolan (the handsome swordsman), Kenyon, and two other boys who appeared to be twins.

I lengthened my stride to get the most out of every step. I wiped the sweat from my forehead and resigned myself to just run, no more complex thoughts on character.

As I near the end of a run, when I start tiring and breathing heavily, my body falls into a mode where all else floats away. All that matters is the finish line. Worries, fears, and excitements all evaporate and leave behind the steady pounding of my feet. We were once again nearing the end of the wall and I saw that the boys around me had started to move quicker in an attempt to win the punishment free Sunday. Unfortunately for them, they were running on the last of their energy. Kenyon and one of the twins fell back, unable to keep up with the pace. Nolan and Kareem both looked like death and I easily passed them, staying steadily behind one of the twins.

I could've won, but Kenyon's warning stuck in my head. Plus I didn't have any punishment duty. I had nothing to gain by winning except more hatred from the pages. I slowed my pace and watched as the twin hit the wall, grinning triumphantly. I followed shortly thereafter and walked to the side taking a few moments to catch my breath and make sure that my muscles didn't cramp up. I walked over to the twin and offered my hand saying, "Good race! Congrats on the win."

"I don't need your praise!" he said, with words like venom. "I will never let you beat me. You're just a whore who doesn't deserve to be here. My brother and I will always be there, putting you in your place. Hopefully you'll get the message and leave before you get hurt." He spat at my feet, gave me a nasty look, and turned to talk to his brother who had just finished.

I felt like I had been verbally slapped. No one had ever been so viciously mean to me. I pulled my hand back from where it still awkwardly hovered. I would teach him to never treat me like that. He would regret his words; I would make him regret them.

I was still quietly fuming and swearing terrible curses under my breath by the time everyone had finished the race.

"The winner is Siya of DeCross. Now hurry, it's time for archery." Lord Paidrag vanished off the wall and once again the pages hurried to follow.

I found Kenyon and his friends and walked with them. My brother smiled down at me and said, "Where in the world did you learn to run like that? You looked like an antelope."

I laughed and answered, "There are a lot of things you don't know about me Kenyon." He looked dumbstruck at the thought that his little sister could possibly be hiding anything from him. "Don't worry, I'm not pregnant." The boys laughed at my joke as we walked towards the practice yard.

I shot with the other first years and hit the center every time. I could see Lord Padraig watching me. I hope he was pleased. I later discovered through the chatter around me that the pages were not in fact divided by year at all. There were four groups of ten or so boys that were organized completely based on skill level. However, the fourth group was mostly fourth years with the exception of two 3rd years, Kareem and Nolan, and one 2nd year, Tavis. I was surprised at this unusual technique, but also pleased that Lord Paidrag recognized the need to teach the boys at different rates.

I followed the rest of group 1 to staff practice. With my master, the Shang Wolf, I had trained rigorously with the staff everyday. The slow pace and the monotony of the activity discouraged me, but I knew that if I slacked off I could easily have my fingers whapped and be shamed in front of HaMinch. I couldn't risk that so I stayed alert and played along with the beginner's pace.

Finally it was over. Next was hand-to-hand combat. I was so excited. Of all fighting styles this is my favorite. It is so natural, so basic. It's just you and your body doing the best you can do. There are no tricks, no hidden knives or poison darts to avoid.

The Shang Horse pulled our group over so that we could review basic techniques, such as falling. I knew that this would be one of the tests, so I prepared myself. When my turn came in the line I offered my left hand up so he could toss me into the air. Unfortunately as soon as I felt that tug my body overcame my mind and sprung into defensive action. My Master had grilled me in this since day one, and I responded instantaneously.

I brought my left knee up straight into his sternum, which was followed by my right fist to the center of his spine. I knew this would momentarily stun his senses. I dropped to the ground and brought my leg up in a strong low kick to the back of his knees, which buckled under the pressure. However, he was quick to recover and before I could back away he had swept my legs out from under me and I found myself in the dirt of the practice yard. Instead of getting up again and continuing the fight he just sat there, laughing on the ground.

I looked up and everyone was staring straight at us. I flushed under the eyes of so many boys and stood up, trying to regain some semblance of composure.

From the ground the Shang Horse said, "Eda! Remind you of anyone we know?"

"In fact she does remind me vividly of someone. I haven't seen a page stun you like that in, let's see… 12 years actually." The reply came from the other Shang who was helping the older pages; her name is Eda Bell or the Shang Wildcat.

I thought quickly in my mind about who had been a page 12 years ago. Then it hit me; Lady Keladry had been a first year page exactly 12 years ago. I was honored to be compared to such a prestigious figure. Eda made the boys return to their exercises, and I helped the Horse up from the ground.

He told the boys to continue practicing and then pulled me over to a fence and sat down with me. "Little one, where did you learn to fight like that? Those moves are only taught to young Shang warriors."

"Well Sir, for the past three years I have trained with a Shang. My Master taught me everything I know about fighting, and many other things too." I knew that I would be unable to keep at least this bare amount of information away from my teachers, but I resolved to never share my Master's name or gender in case someone might recognize it.

"Who is your master? Why didn't you continue training with him, or her?"

"I cannot tell you who my Master is, but I will tell you that I was unable to continue my training because of my duty to my country and to my Father. I figured that this would be the next best thing so I came here."

"Well I will respect your privacy on this issue. But I do ask one thing… To further evaluate your skills would you be willing to fight with the Shang Wildcat? Lord Paidrag and I could see how far your skills are compared to the other boys and place you in the correct group."

"I'd be happy to do that, I always enjoy a good fight." I smiled at the thought of fighting an accomplished opponent. I'd never had a fight with anyone other than my Master and I was excited.

"Well then, follow me. Why would we wait when there is an excellent fight to be seen." He hopped off the fence and strode over to Eda Bell. "Would you be so kind as to fight with this young lady here? I want to see how far her skills are, and I think a fight with you will be able to show us exactly what she can do."

"I'd be honored," she turned toward me and said, "Although you must know that I will not take it easy on you. I will fight you like I'd fight any other warrior."

"I know, I would expect no less," I replied.

"Well let's get this show on the road."

Together we walked over to an empty practice yard and hopped over the fence onto the hard packed dirt. Lord Paidrag leaned on the railing to watch. A few soldiers working on their skills nearby also came over to witness the fight between the mature Shang Wildcat and the twelve-year-old girl page.

I shut out all other influences and focused solely on my opponent. I couldn't let the gathering crowd distract me or I was sure to lose.

We circled each other for the longest time, neither wanting to make the first move. As a principal the Shang's are taught to never instigate a fight if they don't have to. After what seemed like centuries Eda said, "You were taught well, it is the Shang way to never start what doesn't need to be started. However, this needs to begin somehow."

In a flash she swung her leg up, aiming for my upper chest and throat. I dropped to the floor and swung my leg out, knocking her one planted foot off the ground. I knew she would recover quickly so I jumped up and into a back handspring that would take me as far away as possible in the least amount of time.

I watched as she lifted herself from the ground in slow deliberate movements. "This is going to be fun," I heard her say.

She swung out with her right arm, which I blocked with my left. I took the opportunity, and brought up a strong uppercut with my right arm. I hit her squarely on the jaw just as her left fist slammed into my stomach. I didn't have time to recover my lost breath because she was upon me again. This time I used a Shang technique used to turn the enemy's weight against them. I ducked under her punch, grabbed her arm, made a quick turn, and flung her head-first over my hip.

She immediately sprang up and was back, throwing punches quicker than lighting. I blocked some, took some, and returned some. I had decided that I was tired of this punching game. She faked a throw with her left arm, but I wasn't easily fooled. Her real punch came with a strong right hand to my cheek. I caught her fist, twisted her arm up and around her back, and met her with a knee into her abdomen. I knew that the force of my knee had probably broken her ribs, but this wasn't the time to hold back.

Unfortunately I hadn't taken into account her free hand. It grabbed me and twisted me around until I was being pummeled with continuous blows to my side. I stamped down hard with my shoe onto her foot and knew that I had just broken her toes. She released me and I quickly did some calculations.

I stepped in like I was going to start punching again; she put up her fists in preparation. However, I had something else planned. I did a quick cartwheel and vaulted over her in a high back flip. When I landed she was too slow in turning and I lashed out in a kick to the back of her upper thigh. She twisted and grabbed my foot, and I knew I was in trouble.

She threw me to the ground and sat on my chest, holding me legs back with hers. I tried to block her punches but they came so quickly and with so much force that I wasn't able to defend myself from most of them. She landed a solid blow to the bridge of my nose and I heard it crack. Blood flowed from my nose but I ignored the rising pain. I concentrated solely on my legs, and after a while I was able to free them from her vice like grip. I wrapped my feet around her neck and shoved her off of me.

Now the adrenalin was pulsing inside of me and I felt like I could live forever. I decided on a move that my Master had said was only taught to the best and the brightest of the Shang. I ran straight up to her and instead of hitting with a punch, I jumped into a front flip and flung my legs out to kick her in the chest. One foot slammed into her lungs and already broken ribs, and the other hit her shoulder.

I rolled away and got to my feet, ready for the next onslaught of attack. When none came I looked around. Eda Bell was lying on the ground unmoving. I ran to her screaming apologies and asking if she was ok. I reached her and the next thing I knew I was laying on the ground with her forearm resting on my windpipe.

"Never take pity on an old woman. Especially old conniving women, like myself." She smiled and helped me up, patting me on the back.

There were cheers all around us. The people on the fence were in uproar, there were pages grinning and whistling to me, soldiers screaming at the top of their lungs, and nobles in the back with smiles and polite clapping. At the back of the crowd I thought I saw a tall young woman with hazel eyes and freckled skin smiling, but when I looked back she was gone.

I probably would've fainted if a kind young man hadn't run out to me and rested his glowing emerald hand on my shoulder. Immediately I felt the dizziness recede and the pounding in my nose ease off. He gave me something to drink and as soon as it touched my lips I felt like fire had passed through my body.

"Who are you?" I asked with awe in my voice.

"My name's Neal. Nealan of Queenscove actually, but that's what my least favorite aunt calls me." He brought me over to the fence and had me sit down. "Now this might hurt a little, I have to pop your nose back into place. It looks like a really nasty break. Just a warning, even at the end of this you might have a little bump right there from the scarred cartilage. Is that ok?"

"Of course. I love battle scars." This probably sounded more like, "O cores. I wuv baddle scahs."

He laughed and said, "You sound like one of the lads. Ok hold still, and don't fight me."

He put his hands on my face and I could feel the tissue trying to knit itself back together again. There was an intensely painful 'POP' followed by more blood flowing from my nose. Neal quickly worked, trying to stop the blood flow and put my nose back together.

By the end of the healing I felt relatively human, although I sagged with exhaustion. I looked over to see that Eda had received the same treatment from an older man who looked strikingly similar to Neal. I realized this must be Duke Baird, the head healer in all of Tortall.

The crowd had dispersed and I spied Lord Paidrag telling all the pages to go back to work. The majority of the boys headed over to the stables but Kenyon stayed behind and came over to me.

"Thank you Lord Neal. It was very kind of you."

"I'm just doing my job, and please don't call me lord… it sounds ridiculous." He smiled and walked back to the palace with his father.

Kenyon helped me off of the fence and we walked over to the Shang Wildcat.

I bowed saying, "It was an honor to fight such an esteemed opponent. I'm sorry about your injuries and I hope they heal quickly."

She bowed back and said, "It was truly my pleasure! I hope your injuries heal quickly as well and I really hope that you stick around for a while. Maybe after I heal up we could go at it again." She turned and headed back towards the rest of the pages, leaving Kenyon and me to the hands of HaMinch.

"Well done Aquinas. That was impressive. Just make sure the rest of your skills are as honed as hand-to-hand. I can tell you're very tired from that healing. Go take a nap and we'll do your horseback-riding test tomorrow. Just make sure you show up for lunch and afternoon classes."

Kenyon wheeled me away from the training master and practically carried me to my rooms. The healing had caught up with me and I was almost asleep in my boots.

I fell into my bed and had a solid dreamless slumber in an instant.

I woke up an hour later to find that someone had brought hot water into my wash closet. I bathed and redressed. You're now caught back up to present. Uh oh, that was the lunch bell. I better get going.

Emma of Aquinas

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**It's the only thing that keeps me writing.**


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